Resolved - Hopes for 2010

I will . . .

(1) finish what I have termed the fourth draft of WHERE THE DOVES FLY;
(2) revise WHERE THE DOVES FLY until a) it's the best that it can be and b) I'm sick of it;
(3) research literary agents for the book and send out 100 queries before I give up; *
(4) keep track of every book that I read;
(5) finish my senior year on a strong note academically;
(6) find peace with whatever college I choose to attend;
(7) challenge myself intellectually by reading a wide array of material (not only fiction!);
(8) come to terms with the financial hardships my family faces with my mom's cancer and accept that I can't do everything I wish I could;
(9) get off my bum and find a job this summer (and not spend it on writing another novel);
(10) begin my freshman year in college on a strong note academically;
(11) write and submit three pieces of writing independent of my novel to magazines/journals/newspapers;
(12) do whatever I can do to be happy - really happy, not just temporarily happy

* I read somewhere - I didn't make a note of where - that the best goals to make are the ones that I can control, so instead of putting myself in the mentality of "I want an agent, I want an agent," it's now "I'll do whatever I can to find an agent and then move on to that one wonderful project brewing in the back of my mind." Try it!

I know a lot of people have posted their top books of the year but I can't do that because a) I can't remember exactly what I've read - I'm sure there were books in January or February that I liked but can't remember at this moment; b) I don't have the time.

I still have four essays for my college applications to finish! They're due 01/01/10! Yikes.

In twenty-eight days (01/27) I will legally be an adult, too - that feels so drastic and scary and wow. Things are moving quickly.

I will be spending tomorrow night baby-sitting six kids while their parents are off at a New Years' party. Hopefully I can get in a book or two and maybe some writing.

Happy 2010, all!

May the beginning of your year be wonderful, and may you actually achieve what you have resolved to achieve. (I'm ever the realist.)

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Introducing you to Anna . . .

Anna Sokolowska

(17 years old)

MC in WHERE THE DOVES FLY -

about a girl unwilling to let the 1980’s Communist regime

in Poland stifle her artistic voice

This is absolutely perfect. I'm stunned.

Many thanks to the incredibly-talented Sandy Shin.

(She draws, writes, and is a science major at Rice! Golly.)

P.S. I haven't posted in a while.

Will try to change that soon.

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My Gift to You

Right now I'm sitting at home and munching on some delicious Polish bigos (hunter's stew). It's really one of those foods that is utterly classic. Every time I eat it I imagine myself as a young girl waking up somewhere deep in the woods and having to eat with the beavers (Narnia, anyone?).

I'm going to share a recipe that I found online. It looks pretty similar to what my mom makes - I'm not going to share that one because it's all Polish measurements and Polish names and it would take me forever to translate and convert.

If you do anything this holiday break, try cooking some of this. It's delicious!

The secret of Bigos is that it gets better as it's reheated. The more it [is] heated the better it gets. Serve with good bread.

4		lbs sauerkraut
1		cup apple juice
1		lb smoked pork
1		lb spareribs
1/4		lb bacon
1		can tomatoes (large)
2		cups water
2		bay leaves
		black pepper
		salt
4		lbs cabbage
1		lb pork loin chop or pork ribs
1		lb smoked kielbasa (sausage)
1/2		cup onions (chopped)
10		ounces mushrooms (fresh)
6		ounce mushrooms (dried)
2		tablespoons flour

1.	Brown pork and spareribs in a large heavy pot.
2.	Add smoked pork with 1 cup of water and simmer until 1 hour.
3.	Add the sauerkraut and one cup apple juice.
4.	Chop the cabbage fine and add to sauerkraut.
5.	Add lots of pepper and salt cover and simmer 1 hour.
6.	Remove lid and keep pot on a very low simmer.
7.	In a pan, fry bacon until crisp, then crumble into sauerkraut mixture.
8.	Remove most of the bacon fat and fry onions and mushrooms and flour until they just brown.
9.	Mix into sauerkraut mixture.
10.	Cut kielbasa into slices add to sauerkraut mixture with the tomatoes.
11.	Bring to a boil, simmer 30 minutes and serve hot.

Yummy. Happy holidays, everyone!

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Happy, happy holidays!

Wishing you the merriest of holidays -

may it be magical as well as
love- and harmony-filled.

A Scrap of Honesty

Can I just say that I'm really excited for holiday break? Three more schools days to go. So. Pumped.

Because I've not had much time this past month, I haven't gotten around to posting everything important, which is why this post is nearly a month late. Yikes!

Here's the dealio: On November 29th, Jeanette Schneider over at Little Ms. J awarded me The Honest Scrap award, and Tere Kirkland over at The Lesser Key followed up with the same award on December 11th. (See? I'm super late here.) I'd like to thank these two lovely gems for thinking of me and for being honest ladies themselves.

From Jeanette's blog:

I have to now share ten honest things about myself and pass this lovely gift on to ten other Honest, Upstanding and "Scraptastic" bloggers.

I'm usually terrible at this type of thing, only because my sense of what may be entertaining for you all to know is often very poor. Regardless, here I go:

(1) I can throw a very good punch. I know this from experience.

(2) I really don't have trouble speaking my mind, especially when it's important to do so; along those same lines, I'm very careful about which kind of people I hang out with and I think carefully through most big decisions. The administration at my high school hates me for the controversial editorials I write as editor-in-chief of the school newspaper.

(3) I consider myself competitive with adults in regards to my editing abilities, especially the line by line. I don't know how, but after reading hundreds and hundreds of books and studying English independently, I've come to get the technicalities. On the other hand, I definitely struggle with the bigger picture in some cases (and this was confirmed by my internship at Flux). There were some bigger issues I didn't necessarily catch, but that has to be a learning experience.

(4) I rarely, rarely dream. When I do, it's not dreaming, really, but more like a movie - stories unfold in my dreams (though rarely).

(5) I judge people. Always. It's not often that my judgment is terrible.

(6) Sometimes I think about really wacky things. Like how great it would be to pull off a successful bank robbery, or what it would be like to murder someone, or how immense someone's despair must be to propel them toward suicide, or why some people find it worthwhile to harm their bodies. (I try to put myself in these 'character's' shoes.) I'm always very curious about the why.

(7) I hate myself for semi-liking Twilight.

(8) I feel like a thirty-year old too often.

Can you tell that I just don't know what I'm doing here?

(9) When I was ten, my dentist told me I had remarkable teeth, and I told myself I didn't have to brush them, so I did pretty rarely for six months. (Disgusting, I know.) Next visit = two cavities. I now brush my teeth three times a day, always, because cavities and the dentist's office terrify me.

(10) I often spend too much money. Especially on books. And then I go broke.

Edited.

And the ten bloggers (eleven actually, because I got it twice) to whom I'd like to pass along this award:

(1) Steph Bowe - Hey, Teenager! - incredibly honest with her writing process, her aspirations, how she considers things; always an incredible read

(2) Sara J. Henry - Sara in Vermont - down-to-earth (I mean that in the best possible way!) and honest about life, writing, books, and always incredibly willing to push and support the writers she loves

(3) Lisa & Laura Roecker - Lisa & Laura Write - hilarious and uninhibited honesty

(4) A.L. Sonnichsen - Bits of Beautiful - honest and open about the events in her life and her writing and her family; very intimate look into her process

(5) Jen Chandler - Woolgatherings - a fascinating look into the writing process and how everyday life affects things

(6) Laura Martone - Laura's Simple Pleasures - the title of the blog should really speak for itself: Laura very honestly chronicles the things that make her happy

(7) Mariah Irvin - Constantly Risking Absurdity - again, here the title speaks for itself: Mariah writes honestly about everything from her writing to school and doesn't hesitate, ever

(8) Tara McClendon - Eye Feathers - love that this writer talks about everything there is to talk about and, like others, gives a very honest but always interesting insight into the life and the process

(9) Jess Jordan - Say What? - honestly writes about her experiences as a writer, both in the process and out in the world, and is very selfless in how she conveys her insights

(10) Sandy Shin - Sandy Shin - a college student jumping into writing who doesn't mind sharing about her process, how she looks at things related to writing, and how she's doing on this trek (we're all in it together, right?)

Last, but definitely not least,

(11) Sarah Frances Hardy and Katie Anderson - Plot This - these two lovely ladies have created a blog that entrusts its readers with anecdotes about their writing process and their lives and always has me coming back for more of the honesty and insight

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One Book Every YA/MG Writer Should Read

This post has been a work-in-progress in my mind for a while now and I feel the urge to get it out. I really should be doing other things right now, but, well . . . I'm not. I didn't get a Work-in-Progress update in yesterday because I was at an utter lack of time with lots of things happening this weekend and all (I'm such a hypocrite!); if you're really curious, I'm around 6,782 words at the moment. This post is more important and therefore worth my time. Trust me.

So, without further ado, I present to you the one book that I think every YA/MG writer should read:

Dear Author: Letters of Hope

Top Young Adult Authors Respond to Kids' Toughest Issues

Edited by Joan F. Kaywell

Includes responses from authors
Laurie Halse Anderson
Sandy Asher
Chris Crutcher
Lois Duncan
Catherine Ryan Hyde
John H. Ritter
Jerry Spinelli

Book Information (Courtesy of Amazon)
Reading level: Young Adult
Hardcover: 272 pages
Publisher: Philomel (March 1, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0399237054
ISBN-13: 978-0399237058

From Booklist:

Not mere fan mail, the selections speak about teens' gravest concerns--bullying, derailed friendships, racism, date rape, incest, illness, divorce, and more--and they describe how the authors' books helped them face the heartaches. The authors are candid in their responses, and they share their own experiences of overcoming struggle. Nearly all the authors congratulate the teens for the honesty and courage represented in the letters: "I know you will make it . . . Your [mind] is full of doubt, curiosity, and wonder--the hallmarks of a truly intelligent person," says Janet McDonald, who signs her letter to a Texas teen, "Your Biggest Fan." For some readers, this dialogue between writers and readers will be inspiring; for those harboring their own wounding secrets, it may be lifesaving.

Why YA/MG Writers Should Read It
I don't think anyone will disagree with me when I say that writers, especially those writing YA/MG, sometimes forget about the audience they're writing for. I speak from experience when I say that books can affect in both positive and negative ways, some truly inspiring, others terrifying.

The first time I read this was in 2007, soon after the book was published. It was recommended to me by a teacher I had in middle school whom I adore and still keep in contact with, and I recently picked it up at a bookstore. It really acts on two different levels. As a teenager, I was blown away with the insight these authors possess. I see these names and understand they are more than authors who once upon a time wrote a bestselling book. As a writer, it's almost overwhelming how huge - HUGE! - one book can have on a child's life.

Go to Amazon now and order it. Read it. Savor it. Read it again.

You'll laugh and you'll cry.

(This is my way of giving this book a 5.0 / 5.0 stars, by the way.)

And then, when you sit down to write, whether you're writing about a fantasy world or a dark/edgy realistic YA, consider exactly what it is you want to say and what you want to hand your readers, what you wish for them to take away. It doesn't have to be huge.

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College Decisions: An Update

Hi all! I posted that I'd not be blogging until I heard back from colleges, and now I've heard from the two to which I applied - Barnard College of Columbia University and the University of Chicago. I was deferred at both of them, which means that I was neither accepted nor rejected. Both admissions staffs will reconsider my application in the spring; the deadline to submit to most colleges/universities is January 1st, 2010, and they will release decisions at the end of March.

I'll be honest here - my lower GPA is probably the reason why. For reasons I won't share here, I struggled with my academics during my freshman and sophomore years, and I figure that this is the reason I wasn't accepted. I'm absolutely positive that my writing background and the artistic supplement I sent has kept me in the race. For all of you parents with younger kids, the one thing that should be your priority is to make sure that your kids challenge themselves with tough courses and are able to maintain a high GPA. This is key, as is now evident to me - learned the lesson the hard way. Help them find and pursue their passions. My parents did none of this, and I feel lucky that I've brought myself to where I am now.

I plan on applying to some more schools, of course, and have to wait it out for three more months.

With Barnard, the disappointment was immense. It's my favorite school, and it's in NYC - the key location for breaking into the publishing business. I also plan on applying to New York University and Columbia University, both in NYC, so I still have a good chance at getting there. Chicago-wise (naming off the big cities here), I'm obviously under consideration for UChicago and will also apply to Northwestern University, which is close by. Otherwise, there is Baltimore and Pittsburgh, as well as Boston (but those schools are liked far less).

With UChicago, it was . . . well, a pleasant surprise, really, to be considered even relatively competitive at an superbly-academics-intensive school.

You won't see another blog post from me until either the 23rd or the 24th. I have a huge debate tournament this weekend and then three more days before school gets out, with huge tests and papers along the way. Oh, and I also need to apply to colleges. Yeah, that might be a good idea. *wink*

Thanks for all of your good wishes! I appreciate them immensely. Right now I just need to battle out this next week and then enjoy my winter break. The novel's coming along. (Oh, I might - might! - have time for a quick WiP update tomorrow. But it will be quick.)

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Please cross your fingers for me.

I just wanted to pop in and say that this is my last blog post for a few days.

I have a lot of homework and debate work to do and all of that will be exponentially tougher now that I know that Barnard will mail its decisions to applicants tomorrow (Friday!). I think Barnard's system is a lot like torture: Those who are accepted will receive a big package by Priority mail (2-3 days); those deferred/rejected will receive a normal-sized letter by regular mail (who knows how many days?). If I'm in, I should know no later than Tuesday, which means if I haven't heard by then I'm probably out.

UChicago has yet to announce its release date, but now that this whole thing has been coming down to the edge, I've realized that UChicago is my second choice. It'll be a surprise to be accepted. Barnard, which is a part of Columbia University, has been my top choice for a long time, though it's been hard to admit it sometimes because so many people are unfamiliar with it. (Really, I should just say that I've applied to Columbia . . . )

I can barely concentrate on writing this post, I'm so nervous, and I won't have the energy to put together a cohesive, intelligent blog post this weekend.

I'm sure you'd all like to wish me good luck, and I appreciate that. Thank you. I've decided not to allow comments, though: The biggest disappointment of my life will be a rejection letter. So, if you could do one thing for me, and that's cross your fingers, I'll appreciate it even more.

Cheers! Enjoy your weekends, and let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. :-)

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WiP Wednesday #10

WHERE THE DOVES FLY Rewrite Word Count: 2,500/76,000 words

This is a very good word count for me, taking into account that I'm in school. I wrote the first 76,000-word draft in three months over the summer/the beginning of the school year, so this rewrite should take me about the same amount of time because a) I know where I'm going with it; b) I'll have a two-week holiday break; c) I absolutely must have the draft done before April 15th (which is a total of four and a half months, just in case).

I mentioned yesterday that this update is the first one in nine weeks! Crazy, I know, but that's pretty much how long I haven't written. Squee! It's actually easier to balance school and writing than I thought it would be, but the one thing I need to be weary of is the 30k-50k phase. Last time, my mom couldn't pull me away from the computer as I raced to establish the pieces for the climax (which ended up not really being a climax, but that's a tale for another time). Hopefully I can pace myself more appropriately this time, though I will probably be on break when it happens.

Honestly, my goal is to finish the entire rewrite over break: If I can get 25k or so out before 12/23, I can put in 50k over fourteen days. That's a little bit over 3.5k/day, which is doable for me. A significant part of the rewrite won't be actual rewriting, but more of maneuvering some pieces from the original draft into new positions and making them fit.

The Decision to Rewrite

I didn't know that I was going to rewrite until I realized I had to.

The original draft told Anna's story from the time she was nineteen until she was in her thirties (there was a ten-year break in between some of the pieces). I was told that the second part of the book was like a different story entirely, so I knew that I was going to have to fix that.

Instead of starting from the middle and working to the end, though, I decided I wanted to alter a plot line at the beginning, moving the setting from a high school to an art gallery and bringing some characters into the mix sooner.

I made it about 15k words in before I stopped writing and, really, I was very depressed over those few months because I didn't know whether I was taking the right steps to rewrite. I'm one of those people whose mood alters based on whether or not they're writing . . . I was stuck, both in regards to technique and novel content. I didn't write because I didn't want to deal with the, well, painful decision to rewrite. (I hope to God I won't have to rewrite again after this.)

In late November I met with my writing mentor. She read the first 15k and offered some suggestions, but it was the posing of a few key questions that made me realize I had to start the rewrite from the beginning for a second time. I needed to, first and foremost, clarify my main character. Swati asked, "Is Anna supposed to withhold information?" For her, my MC was keeping secrets. I can see where that technique came into play, but it wasn't done on purpose. I'm going to use it in the rewrite but I'm now consciously thinking of every decision Anna makes.

Another question was, "Why 1985?"

A long time ago the book was supposed to begin in 1975 because it was supposed to be told from two points of view - Anna's, and her daughter's as she grew up in modern Minneapolis. When I realized that the book would be HUGE if I attempted something like that, I cut out the second viewpoint and decided to move Anna's story up a decade . . . without a particular reason why. It didn't feel honest to make the book take place in modern Poland because now the country doesn't retain the kind of feel that is necessary for the novel, but 1985 worked for me.

After Swati asked me why, I decided I should have a better (or, well, an actual) reason, so I did some research. I know, of course, that Poland's Solidarity movement (a movement against the Communist regime) took place during the '80s, but I never really thought about making it a part of the book until I started to read a little bit more about the movement's spread in the capital of Warsaw (its birth is up north in Gdansk). Now, the movement is going to play a big part in the book, which means that this rewrite is a true rewrite. Historical pieces of info will be tied into the backstory of Anna's father, etc.

In the end, I decided to rewrite because I had to if I wanted to the book to be better and more organic. I can't imagine going back to that original-original draft. My writing has become better in these past six months or so since I started writing the original draft and now I have a rough outline and know what I want to accomplish. It's going to be tough, grueling work, and it will be hard not to have unrealistic expectations and goals and to set aside another project that's been brewing (and this one has a truly unique unique premise - I can't think of another YA like it). I need to forge ahead and, hey, I'm okay with that.

Why You Should Rewrite

It's taken me a while, but I realize now why rewrites are helpful, regardless of how good a first draft may be. Now that I'm rewriting scenes I'm thinking also as a reader and am seeing how the pieces of some scenes either moved too quickly or too slowly. Writing mostly from memory means also that the scenes and images become more efficient and clearer.

It's said that a writer should always burn his or her first draft and rewrite from the beginning. Consider the benefits. Sure, it'll be way more work than you bargained for, but if the final project is better, why not?

WHERE THE DOVES FLY Today

Right now I'm working on establishing relationships between Anna, her father, her mother, her best friend Magda (a n old character in a new role), a friend-turned-semi-enemy Adam (an older character in need of development), and the gallery curator Majka. I posted the new first paragraph at the bottom of yesterday's post, if you wish to check it out.

As for "So, after all of this, what is WHERE THE DOVES FLY about?" -

The old version:

WHERE THE DOVES FLY is, in the end, a happy story set in 1980s Poland about 19-year-old Anna, an artistic genius that finds comfort in her painting. When her abusive father disappears suddenly, leaving her to deal with her depressed mother; Rafal, the quirky boy from the art gallery; and the ambiguity of friendship, she must choose how much she's willing to give up to protect her heart.

Wow, that's a terrible summary, and it doesn't sound interesting at all! Grr.

Here's the new one (in-progress, as is the novel itself):

In 1980s Poland, the expectation is that no one voice will be heard above the others, but seventeen-year-old Anna Sokolowska isn’t interested in the rules.

Her goal is to break away from the Communist regime and then to establish herself overseas as a painter that promotes anti-regime ideals through her art. An abusive relationship with her father, however, forces Anna to remain at home, working part-time to support her mother. When her father disappears, Anna is finally free and, at the suggestion of an award-winning art professor at a local gallery, she attends a prestigious art conference in the U.S.

What Anna forgets to consider is that nothing stays the same, not even for three months. Upon return, she finds her world completely upside down, and the question becomes how much more she is willing to give up. WHERE THE DOVES FLY explores one of Poland's most tragic decades through the eyes of a girl who chooses to fight back.

It's not much better, but you get the idea.

That's all for now, folks! I'm off to enjoy the first snow day Minnesota's given me in years.

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